What I Learned in 7 Years in Business

OK, seriously, I can't possibly cover everything I've learned as a business owner over seven years in one post!  However, I wanted to share some of the highlights with others out there-- especially newish business owners, aspiring entrepreneurs, and those on the fence.

1. Make sure you like what you're going to be doing.  If you aren't sure yet, find some resources to help you figure it out.  Don't fall into the money trap.  The sayings are true: the money will come much more easily when you are contributing in a way that's enjoyable to you, and that others find valuable.  After 7 years, I have no "itch" to do anything else...
2. It's better to fail than to be afraid to make a move!

4 Tips for FUN, Successful Business Planning

Yep, I am aware that Business Planning is most people's "not my favorite" topic, but it is nonetheless a critical component to success in business.  Of course, I like to make it as fun and exciting as possible with my clients- Hey, it CAN be a good time!  I am pleased to share the following specifics you can do during your next planning session to make it your best year yet!

What Not To Do at the End of the Year

I've compiled a short list of things NOT to do toward the end of the year, things that most people do - because they are either too tired, ignorant, or unmotivated to make the most of the present and plan appropriately for next year..

Yes, we want to eat, drink, & be merry. We worked hard all year and when nearing the end, it is natural to seek celebration and experience some "I deserve it" attitude. However, this is not the time to let yourself go.  You want to

Dealing With Difficult People

This is a topic that keeps coming up in professional circles over and over. Why such a hot topic? Is the world filled with horribly rude people, stepping on each others' toes? Well, while there are some horribly rude people out there, but the vast majority of "difficult" people are just like you -and me. People who get things done, people who are in a hurry, people who have trouble hearing or speaking are often seen as difficult. Regular people, me and you, can easily be seen as "difficult" in some situations. Which leads me to the first tip in Dealing With Difficult People:

Consider this about a difficult person:
They might just be having a bad day. See them as a regular person, and look to give them a temporary pass for their behavior. This works wonders for most encounters of the difficult kind.

But what if it's someone you know fairly well and they are a pain all the time? A temporary pass isn't going to cut it...

Realize this one key trait about chronically difficult people:

They are still human beings. Sure, they are rude and put a major cramp in people's days all over the place. How can they be so selfish? Can't they see that they are causing so much trouble? Maybe, but what if they don't realize it, or they have something going on in their life that is much bigger than a little rudeness? In this case, put yourself in their shoes and consider what the causes might be. Even if this doesn't change things, it may help you understand them better. Yes, you may need to use your imagination!

Seek to understand.  It is critical to realize that we are not all coming from the same frame of reference. What is tolerated or even revered behavior in some families or cultures could be considered in poor taste or downright unethical in others. When two people are not comparing apples to apples, they will likely never have full understanding. Realize too that people have different "wiring" in their brains; different ways of perceiving and dealing with the world around them, and of interacting with others. No approach is necessarily wrong, they are all just different. Attempt non-judging. If you don't respect them, it's very likely they don't respect you and see your behaviors as equally offensive (although you do not intend this outcome).

Pinpoint the specific areas of difficulty.
When dealing with a person, consider them as a whole person with only a few areas that need work instead of the reverse. a "halo effect" which assumes the worst about all things regarding them. Once you are able to separate the behaviors from the person, you are well on your way to better interactions with them.

Show them how it's done.
You know that saying about not worrying about your neighbors trash cans when your own lawn needs mowing?  Focus on making your own improvements regardless of how masterful you may be.  Strive for perfection if need be, becoming a better communicator and colleague/family member/friend.  Not only does it benefit you, but you can show those "difficult" people how it's done. Remember that the energy you bring to every conversation is being broadcast out through your words, actions, and even your thoughts.

Prepare for interaction.
Take a few minutes before anticipated or scheduled meeting times to consider what you'd really like to see happen. Remind yourself they are a human being, and who knows maybe they are going through some personal tragedy that they don't talk about. Be the best example of a master communicator that you can be. Take the high road and assume positive intent, seek to understand their point of view , and even forgive their trespasses, acknowledging that no one is perfect.

Smile, knowing you are a better person for it.
Communicate With Confidence.

Communicate With Confidence

Confidence.  A priceless trait of master communicators and successful people everywhere... 

How much confidence makes for just the right amount?  Most people are willing to acknowledge they would like more confidence, especially when communicating in business and relationships.  What follows are some concepts and techniques to help you create and exhibit more confidence in your communication:

The Message
What's the point? In order to communicate with confidence, you must first know what outcome you would like from your communication.  What response or reaction are you hoping for?  Once you've identifed the point, determine the key parts of the message and the best format, whether spoken, written, or otherwise communicated.

The Audience
You must also identify some of the traits of your audience, whether one person or a packed auditorium.  What matters to them? Understand that regardless of your audience, almost everyone feels some degree of attention deficit, overstimulation, and/or overwhelm in our modern time. Concise, clear communication is always best.

An easy technique for holding others' attention is to express a specific number of items to follow and a succinct summary of each, to build on the concept of tell them what you're going to tell them-- because it lets them know exactly how long they have to pay attention. i.e. "There are 2 primary reasons our team should _____; the first is X, and the second is Y."  Elaborate through meaningful examples or illustrative stories when appropriate, but be sure to cover the important points clearly. 

Say More With Less
Direct communication is underused in our society.  Many people fear being rude, but it's important to realize succinct comments don't have to be robotic or terse.  Clear communication is a courtesy worth extending to everyone.

Leverage Your Expertise
Everyone is an expert on something, on some level.  Therefore, anyone can strive to comfortable, or even worthy of, addressing a particular topic with others. Even if you don't necessarily feel like an expert, build your case (to yourself if helpful) before you start speaking so that you communicate with a feeling of authority.  Comments that dilute a good point, express self doubt, or are thinking out loud such as "Well, let's think about this" "It's just my opinion" "What do you think?" "I'm not really sure, but..." may result in your audience wondering why they are listening to you, and your message will be lessened significantly.  Use words and non verbal communication to make clear that you are intelligent, credible, and a powerful, dynamic person. 

Prepare to deliver your message; practice when you can.  The more important it is to you that your message be received well, the more preparation can help get the job done.  Although it doesn't have to be time-consuming, there is no substitute; and as a bonus, preparation builds your confidence automatically.  As an example, even professional speakers prepare and practice when giving a speech.  For us Regular Joes, whether you are giving a speech on stage, asking your boss for a promotion, asking a prospect for business, or asking your sweetheart something important, the best way I've discovered to prepare for a successful presentation is to 1) Write everything out exactly, as though you might read from a script,  in your own words.  2) Read it out loud several times all the way through, and share it with a trusted advisor if you have one, and practice your timing if needed.  3) Only memorize the main points by making an outline, highlighting, or using note cards, etc.... 3) Dress appropriately for the occasion and in a manner that boosts your confidence, get to the location early, remind yourself that you have prepared well, then picture the audience responding the way you'd like them to. 4) Forget about your detailed script and focus on delivering your message so that the audience benefits.

ACTIONS:
1. Practice clear, concise messaging: craft 2 sentences that say as much as possible in as few words as possible. (Hint: Ernest Hemingway was a master.)
2.  Use the technique above for enumerating how many points you have, then quickly summarizing them.  Do you notice a difference in your audience's reactions?

Confidence For Any Situation

It's the eve of a triathlon, and I'm not worried today... I should be. I'm not the type who excels at these things. In fact, people are probably surprised that I participate in fitness events. I'm healthy, but I'm no star athlete.

Last summer was my first tri, and I signed up again this year. At some point I told myself I was going to beat my time by 20% --but then life cruised on and I focused on other goals. I didn't fully commit through action until the past couple of months.

I was a little freaked out about it. I was training pretty hard and it was great (met some awesome milestones!) but then a week ago I started limping. My left foot was hurting a lot and I started to wonder if I could do the triathlon at all. I put my workouts on hold. I allowed myself a few daily thoughts of "This sucks!" "It's not fair!" "Waaaahhh." I went through my days in a minor depressive state...

Then I stood back and wondered if my anxiety about meeting my goal was somehow the root cause of my physical distress. As a business coach, I know darn well that the mind is far more powerful than any circumstances --and I resolved to change my tune.

I made a decision: I will do the race no matter what & if I have to limp across the finish line, then so be it. Then when I looked back at my written goals, I realized I had committed to completing it and to beating my time from last year. And I felt better about it (what? where did the 20% come from??).

The point of this blog? The reason I am taking the time to type it up before I load the car with my gear? Because I realized that ultimately what matters to me is simply keeping my promise to myself. And I want to share this with you-

I'm doing this event because it is in line with my vision of the person I am becoming. This gives me confidence for tomorrow. This feeling of moving one step closer to my goals, my future, my "ideal" self gives me confidence. I'm doing the right thing by acting in support of my decision...no matter how the race goes tomorrow. This habit of sticking to a decision in the face of fear and uncertainty also gave me confidence a few weeks ago just prior to a speaking engagement I didn't feel truly ready for. And it will give you confidence when you need it.

Are we ever totally physically ready for whatever comes our way? I don't think so. Not fully. You just can't address every contingency for every situation. Besides, who wants to live a "worst case scenario" lifestyle? No thanks.

However, we CAN be mentally ready...for anything. I believe one way to experience this is by acknowledging who we are now and who we want to be. Then by making choices that fit with that vision we step boldly in the direction of our dreams. That IS confidence.

Who do you want to be? By the way, I don't mean you should care about what other people think or emulate others' behavior or accomplishments. I mean that when you think about your future self, what traits do you want to have? Who do YOU want to be? Step boldy in the direction of these dreams and goals, and live confidently! Live Out Loud! Act As If!