Confidence. A priceless trait of master communicators and successful people everywhere...
How much confidence makes for just the right amount? Most people are willing to acknowledge they would like more confidence, especially when communicating in business and relationships. What follows are some concepts and techniques to help you create and exhibit more confidence in your communication:
The Message
What's the point? In order to communicate with confidence, you must first know what outcome you would like from your communication. What response or reaction are you hoping for? Once you've identifed the point, determine the key parts of the message and the best format, whether spoken, written, or otherwise communicated.
The Audience
You must also identify some of the traits of your audience, whether one person or a packed auditorium. What matters to them? Understand that regardless of your audience, almost everyone feels some degree of attention deficit, overstimulation, and/or overwhelm in our modern time. Concise, clear communication is always best.
An easy technique for holding others' attention is to express a specific number of items to follow and a succinct summary of each, to build on the concept of tell them what you're going to tell them-- because it lets them know exactly how long they have to pay attention. i.e. "There are 2 primary reasons our team should _____; the first is X, and the second is Y." Elaborate through meaningful examples or illustrative stories when appropriate, but be sure to cover the important points clearly.
Say More With Less
Direct communication is underused in our society. Many people fear being rude, but it's important to realize succinct comments don't have to be robotic or terse. Clear communication is a courtesy worth extending to everyone.
Leverage Your Expertise
Everyone is an expert on something, on some level. Therefore, anyone can strive to comfortable, or even worthy of, addressing a particular topic with others. Even if you don't necessarily feel like an expert, build your case (to yourself if helpful) before you start speaking so that you communicate with a feeling of authority. Comments that dilute a good point, express self doubt, or are thinking out loud such as "Well, let's think about this" "It's just my opinion" "What do you think?" "I'm not really sure, but..." may result in your audience wondering why they are listening to you, and your message will be lessened significantly. Use words and non verbal communication to make clear that you are intelligent, credible, and a powerful, dynamic person.
Prepare to deliver your message; practice when you can. The more important it is to you that your message be received well, the more preparation can help get the job done. Although it doesn't have to be time-consuming, there is no substitute; and as a bonus, preparation builds your confidence automatically. As an example, even professional speakers prepare and practice when giving a speech. For us Regular Joes, whether you are giving a speech on stage, asking your boss for a promotion, asking a prospect for business, or asking your sweetheart something important, the best way I've discovered to prepare for a successful presentation is to 1) Write everything out exactly, as though you might read from a script, in your own words. 2) Read it out loud several times all the way through, and share it with a trusted advisor if you have one, and practice your timing if needed. 3) Only memorize the main points by making an outline, highlighting, or using note cards, etc.... 3) Dress appropriately for the occasion and in a manner that boosts your confidence, get to the location early, remind yourself that you have prepared well, then picture the audience responding the way you'd like them to. 4) Forget about your detailed script and focus on delivering your message so that the audience benefits.
ACTIONS:
1. Practice clear, concise messaging: craft 2 sentences that say as much as possible in as few words as possible. (Hint: Ernest Hemingway was a master.)
2. Use the technique above for enumerating how many points you have, then quickly summarizing them. Do you notice a difference in your audience's reactions?