Why Aren't You More Successful?

You work hard, you worry, you're tired--but for all that, why aren't you more successful? 
Chances are, you're not really applying your time, money, or energy in the right directions, or with enough intensity.  Let's review 3 critical, yet simple things the most successful people do differently from the rest:

1- Know what you want
How can you possibly get from A to B if you don’t know what B is? Do you just get in your car and start driving aimlessly? NO, before you get to the end of your street, you know your desired destination. Strangely, most people don’t know what they want. Like most people, I used to spend more time determining where to go for dinner, or making out their Christmas list than determining what to accomplish over the next year. What do you want to be known for?

What The Heck Are They Doing?!?

A popular pet peeve for some of us is people not using their turn indicator while driving.  I admit, it annoys me a lot when people don't signal their intent at all, or if they turn on their blinker during the turn (what's the point?).  How many times do we hear ourselves saying in the car, "What the heck are they doing?!?" - or a similar version but chock-full of expletives?  We may say this regarding other people and businesses when we are not in the car too...

Negotiate: Don't Just Say YES!

Whether in sales or job hunting, and any other time it matters, don't accept the very first thing!  I was in a conference yesterday presenting on Negotiating skills when a very important point came up: When you are offered a job, it's important not to accept the offer exactly as they make it, but to ask for something that you want, and allow them the compromise.  Think about it: let's say you're out shopping and find a street vendor who has something you want.  You offer a price, and they gleefully accept quickly, money and goods change hands, and as you walk away you can't help but feel a bit deflated.  Yes, you got the item you wanted, but it seems obvious you paid more than needed, and you wonder about the quality. 

When Is Planning a Waste of Time?

As they say in carpentry, "Measure twice. Cut once." We've all experienced what happens when we didn't plan [measure] correctly, and there wasn't an easy fix. Hopefully the frustration or embarrassment was enough to learn the lesson that adequate planning for success is important.  In addition, most of you reading this will be familiar with the concept of "Q2" or "Important, but not Urgent" activities like planning & strategizing, and specifically how these typically need to be a higher priority for most people in business to be more successful.  HOWEVER it is hypercritical to realize that TOO much planning is akin to paralysis by analysis.

Selling With Confidence

Feel like you want or need more Sales Moxie or Mojo? Do you berate yourself for not asking for the sale, speaking with confidence, or generally being uncomfortable or even afraid in sales situations?  There are some easy ways to feel more comfortable and confident when selling.

After all, "sell" is a 4-letter word.
But "sell" is not a bad word! Successful sellers are helpful, influential, and skilled at finding a match with customer needs --rather than manipulative-- so you can quit worrying about changing your personality!  You probably just need to rev up your confidence.  Yes, there is definitely the idea of too much confidence in sales which can come across as aggressive, "sales-y" or pushy, and this approach is the cause of most buyer's remorse, returns, and canceled contracts.  Yet the other side of the spectrum is probably worse because although it makes friends and establishes comfort with prospects and buyers, it is simply not as effective (as the overly confident sales approach) in terms of actual sales.  Let's face it, provided you believe in your product or service, you can't truly help people if you don't offer them ownership.

Why do people buy from sharks?
Bottom line: they respect sales confidence.  Think about how your own buying experiences validate this. As buyers, we want

Managing Work-Related Stress

What is a typical work day like for a modern working professional? It’s often described as hectic, or frustrating, or rushed...but also as productive, sometimes as satisfying.  However, most people describe their work days in terms of all the elements they do NOT have control over.

Relaxed Control
What does this mean? You may think this is an oxymoron (like 'jumbo shrimp'), but I believe it is a much better way to describe the opposite of stressed than “not stressed.”  First, however, let's establish what stress is.

Stress is...a feeling that's created when we react to particular events. Or: physical, mental, or emotional strain or tension.

A client of mine "Kathy" is a project leader in a large company. She came to me originally because she felt so unhappy about her work shewanted to talk about career options. However in her case, another job was not the solution and we went to work on some of the very things I’ll share with you here. After a short time of working together, Kathy told me her husband commented about how much happier she was, and the more we talked she realized she didn’t have the Sunday blues any more. Her coworkers did not change, her boss did not change, her work did not change much at all, but she did start working on projects she liked more and using her talents better for herself and for the company. The main difference that caused Kathy’s stress level to dial way back was merely applying these mindsets and using these techniques. They are easy to apply immediately and if you choose, will make a significant difference for you too.

Stress Less?
What's the difference between managing stress and preventing stress?  In our work processes, we know all too well the differences between managing and preventing problems, and this is essentially the same approach.  Some factors can be addressed to prevent and reduce stress, so like anything else, it’s generally far better to be strategic than to just accept what comes your way.

**Think about your Top 3 Stressors, or your top 3 challenges that cause you stress. Another way to determine what stresses you out is to list out some tolerations, or things that you are putting up with from yourself, your work, your life, or other people. It may help to consider your various environments.

Take Responsibility for the Quality of Your Days
You can have a balanced, happy, productive life by applying some simple, proven concepts. As a business coach I often help my clients focus on ways to WORK BETTER so they can LIVE MORE LIFE. So how do you Work Better (get more done in less time) in order to Live More Life (do what you really want)?

You own your day, no one else can force you to feel a certain way or to do things that you don't want to do.  Yes, sometimes it feels like choosing the lesser of two bad options, but it is still a choice.  So how do we strive for a more quality experience in work or life, especially on those days when we feel, well, Maxed Out?

If you approach the day with a sense of rushed frustration, saying something like” Today is gonna be rough, I have so much to do, I have to call so-and-so, and I have this meeting, and my boss said she wants to talk later about that project, AH I’d really like to play hooky today but I really can’t. Ugh!” it is guaranteed to be a stressful day.  Versus taking an approach of “Today I have a lot going on and I want this to be a really great day! I may just close the deal with so-and-so, and I have an opportunity to speak up in that meeting, and this afternoon I’m going to suggest at least one way I can add more value to the project and I going to ask my boss to support me on this."

Decide What You Want
Believe it or not, knowing what you want ion life and working toward something specific that you want lessens your stress considerably.

One of the best ways to increase your feeling in control is to manage your activities better. See various other posts on Effectiveness & Time Management in this blog.  Another great way to be more relaxed and feel more in control is through Mind Games. This is not about playing mind games, but using the power of the mind to beat the stress game.  Decide what you want and focus on that.

Positive Expectation
When entering into any situation, project, sales meeting, conversation with your boss or that difficult coworker or client, begin with the end in mind. Once you’ve established a good understanding of your desired outcome, then you want to use your creative mind to turn that Desired Outcome into a Positive Expectation. Any person with an imagination is capable of this, it’s fun, and it produces awesome results. Ok, so a little more how-to:

Consider how you want to feel at the end of the conversation, or the end of your day.  Then use words that indicate it has already happened like you want, and is not merely wishful thinking.

**Think about your top three stress challenges right now, and the tolerations in your work and life. What do you want to change? Let’s take that one step further. What is your positive expectation, framed in the affirmative?  As an example: Maybe, "I stay late at work too often." becomes "I want to leave work on time."  WHY?  Then take it to the next level which is far more powerful, such as, saying at the end of a work day, “I feel satisfied with a job well done today and I look forward to cooking dinner with my family.”

Setting your Purpose, Mission, or Goal
Specifically, what are you working toward? Take a look in your calendar(s) and your bank statement(s) --this is where your time and money is going. Consider what you REALLY want in your life and work. What do you want to be known for? What do you want to change over the next few weeks, months, year?

How can you possibly get from A to B if you don’t know what B is? Do you just get in your car and start driving aimlessly? NO, before you get to the end of your street, you know your desired destination. Strangely, most people don’t know what they want. Like most people, I used to spend more time determining where to go for dinner, or making out my shopping list than determining what to accomplish over the next year.

Ponder your purpose, your big picture, i.e. "Why are you here?"  Determine the Mission you are on right now, maybe it's your career or a large project regarding your household or community.  What are your passions?  If you haven't done so already, write down a primary goal, something specific enough so that you know when you succeeded and can celebrate, and something personally meaningful for YOU. 

Hints: Saying you want more time or money isn't specific enough– what will you do when you have the time or money? **Write down 2 things you would do more of if you didn’t have to worry about time or money.  Also, it's not enough to say, I just want to be happy.  You are fully in control of that right now, regardless of your present situation.  Happiness is a state of mind that you deserve to feel daily and is not a goal or mission or purpose statement.  **Take 5 minutes and answer the following: What helps you create or sustain your own happiness and why?

Relaxed Control in Summary
When you catch yourself saying things like, “He makes me mad!” or “I felt sick about that.” Or “My heart skipped a beat.” Or “I never have enough time!,” acknowledge that it is your response to something or someone--and you made youself feel mad or sick or nervous; stressed.

When striving for a state of relaxed control, you realize fully that your responses are always within your control, even if they seem to be at super-speed in the subconscious, and these directly affect the level of stress you experience...and with practice they will be more and more as intentional responses rather then conditioned reactions.

Your Challenge
Will you commit to ONE of these for 21 days, and see what amazing things happen? Are you ready to experience that Relaxed Control?  Imagine how different life will be in less than a month! 

What is your new, positive expectation for yourself? What do you have to gain? What do you have to lose?

See also Are You Truly Effective? and Tackling Procrastination

Organizing: Week 8

Organizing is this week's focus.
Read about the 13 weeks.

It's no surprise that Organizing would show up on a list of traits for personal and professional improvement. Most every person I know feels they would like to improve in this area. While there is probably such a thing as being too organized, it's pretty hard to imagine. Thus, I determined that some focus in this area would be of value for me too!

I listed 4 areas I wanted to address this week:

Processes- I looked at daily, weekly, monthly, quarterly, and annual processes for getting things done, mostly for my business, but I included some personal too. I am one of these people who can get really wrapped up in the details. If time was unlimited, I would enjoy detailed, complex planning and designing of processes. However, obviously I still have a business to run so I had to reign myself in and stick to what was really needed. It's worth noting here that we all need to work with our environments, finding ways to support our natural tendencies wherever possible, so that we can go with the flow. In other words, good processes should provide a supportive structure that allows greater productivity and creativity, using less energy.

Files- I organized my files, straightening some things up, putting some loose papers into folders, etc... I also organized the file and folder structure on my computer. This was mostly the kind of administrative work that office managers and assistants are so good at that makes offices run more smoothly. I also made some back-up files.

Financial- I not only installed and implemented new accounting software which was great(!), I also took a little time to determine what financial-related processes would work best.

Household- I identified several things I wanted to organize in our home, but beyond the basics, this category will wait for the next round of 13 weeks...

I feel that I accomplished some really good things in support of being more organized this week...now it's just a matter of maintaining it!