Afraid of Having it All?

By Heather Legge
Is it possible that you've been holding yourself back because you're afraid of REAL success?  I've been a bit surprised by this being fairly common among my clients.  Previously, I would have guessed that more people were afraid of failure. But for driven, talented people --they know they can get things done.  Sure, they don't want to fail, or look the fool in front of others.  But, moreso they are afraid of WHO they will become when they achieve REAL success. 

Marvelously Simple, Stupid

“It is always the simple that produces the marvelous.”  

-Amelia Barr

Many people think that in order to dream and achieve marvelous things that marvelous measures must be taken.  And when those marvelous measures are deemed too drastic, they stop dreaming and achieving altogether.  However, I have four little words for you:  Keep It Simple, Stupid.

I say that very lovingly, of course.  What I mean by “K-I-S-S” is that you can continue to dream and achieve the marvelous if you just break things down into simpler steps. 

Want to completely shift careers? 

What I Learned in 7 Years in Business

OK, seriously, I can't possibly cover everything I've learned as a business owner over seven years in one post!  However, I wanted to share some of the highlights with others out there-- especially newish business owners, aspiring entrepreneurs, and those on the fence.

1. Make sure you like what you're going to be doing.  If you aren't sure yet, find some resources to help you figure it out.  Don't fall into the money trap.  The sayings are true: the money will come much more easily when you are contributing in a way that's enjoyable to you, and that others find valuable.  After 7 years, I have no "itch" to do anything else...
2. It's better to fail than to be afraid to make a move!

3 Ways to Take Charge of Your Life Now!

This morning I was reminded that the small, seemingly insignificant choices we make throughout the day allow us to take charge of our life, or they allow us to tolerate less than we deserve. 

Last Week:

The Five Olympic Attitudes

What I learned during my weight workout this morning, from a video presentation of Dennis Waitley (what perfect timing with the games in London currently!)

5 Olympic Attitudes (for Success):

I. Adapt to Change
A great formula for dealing with change proactively is KASH; continue enhancing in every area-
K nowledge
A ttitute
S kills
H abits

3 Reasons Why a Sunny Outlook Brings More Success

People often make fun of "the power of positive thinking" - or consider people who subscribe synonymous with idiots walking on rainbows with rays of sunshine coming out their

Selling With Confidence

Feel like you want or need more Sales Moxie or Mojo? Do you berate yourself for not asking for the sale, speaking with confidence, or generally being uncomfortable or even afraid in sales situations?  There are some easy ways to feel more comfortable and confident when selling.

After all, "sell" is a 4-letter word.
But "sell" is not a bad word! Successful sellers are helpful, influential, and skilled at finding a match with customer needs --rather than manipulative-- so you can quit worrying about changing your personality!  You probably just need to rev up your confidence.  Yes, there is definitely the idea of too much confidence in sales which can come across as aggressive, "sales-y" or pushy, and this approach is the cause of most buyer's remorse, returns, and canceled contracts.  Yet the other side of the spectrum is probably worse because although it makes friends and establishes comfort with prospects and buyers, it is simply not as effective (as the overly confident sales approach) in terms of actual sales.  Let's face it, provided you believe in your product or service, you can't truly help people if you don't offer them ownership.

Why do people buy from sharks?
Bottom line: they respect sales confidence.  Think about how your own buying experiences validate this. As buyers, we want

Cultivating a Daily Success Mindset

What one skill do all successful people, all around the world, and all throughout time, have in common?

Whether they realize it or not, they all are masters at visualizing their success.  They routinely envision successful outcomes--and most often expect nothing else. Their words likely match their thoughts, but they may have also mastered the art of not telling everyone how confident they are.  If you could tap into the minds of the top tier of successful people, you would find

Dealing With Difficult People

This is a topic that keeps coming up in professional circles over and over. Why such a hot topic? Is the world filled with horribly rude people, stepping on each others' toes? Well, while there are some horribly rude people out there, but the vast majority of "difficult" people are just like you -and me. People who get things done, people who are in a hurry, people who have trouble hearing or speaking are often seen as difficult. Regular people, me and you, can easily be seen as "difficult" in some situations. Which leads me to the first tip in Dealing With Difficult People:

Consider this about a difficult person:
They might just be having a bad day. See them as a regular person, and look to give them a temporary pass for their behavior. This works wonders for most encounters of the difficult kind.

But what if it's someone you know fairly well and they are a pain all the time? A temporary pass isn't going to cut it...

Realize this one key trait about chronically difficult people:

They are still human beings. Sure, they are rude and put a major cramp in people's days all over the place. How can they be so selfish? Can't they see that they are causing so much trouble? Maybe, but what if they don't realize it, or they have something going on in their life that is much bigger than a little rudeness? In this case, put yourself in their shoes and consider what the causes might be. Even if this doesn't change things, it may help you understand them better. Yes, you may need to use your imagination!

Seek to understand.  It is critical to realize that we are not all coming from the same frame of reference. What is tolerated or even revered behavior in some families or cultures could be considered in poor taste or downright unethical in others. When two people are not comparing apples to apples, they will likely never have full understanding. Realize too that people have different "wiring" in their brains; different ways of perceiving and dealing with the world around them, and of interacting with others. No approach is necessarily wrong, they are all just different. Attempt non-judging. If you don't respect them, it's very likely they don't respect you and see your behaviors as equally offensive (although you do not intend this outcome).

Pinpoint the specific areas of difficulty.
When dealing with a person, consider them as a whole person with only a few areas that need work instead of the reverse. a "halo effect" which assumes the worst about all things regarding them. Once you are able to separate the behaviors from the person, you are well on your way to better interactions with them.

Show them how it's done.
You know that saying about not worrying about your neighbors trash cans when your own lawn needs mowing?  Focus on making your own improvements regardless of how masterful you may be.  Strive for perfection if need be, becoming a better communicator and colleague/family member/friend.  Not only does it benefit you, but you can show those "difficult" people how it's done. Remember that the energy you bring to every conversation is being broadcast out through your words, actions, and even your thoughts.

Prepare for interaction.
Take a few minutes before anticipated or scheduled meeting times to consider what you'd really like to see happen. Remind yourself they are a human being, and who knows maybe they are going through some personal tragedy that they don't talk about. Be the best example of a master communicator that you can be. Take the high road and assume positive intent, seek to understand their point of view , and even forgive their trespasses, acknowledging that no one is perfect.

Smile, knowing you are a better person for it.
Communicate With Confidence.

Communicate With Confidence

Confidence.  A priceless trait of master communicators and successful people everywhere... 

How much confidence makes for just the right amount?  Most people are willing to acknowledge they would like more confidence, especially when communicating in business and relationships.  What follows are some concepts and techniques to help you create and exhibit more confidence in your communication:

The Message
What's the point? In order to communicate with confidence, you must first know what outcome you would like from your communication.  What response or reaction are you hoping for?  Once you've identifed the point, determine the key parts of the message and the best format, whether spoken, written, or otherwise communicated.

The Audience
You must also identify some of the traits of your audience, whether one person or a packed auditorium.  What matters to them? Understand that regardless of your audience, almost everyone feels some degree of attention deficit, overstimulation, and/or overwhelm in our modern time. Concise, clear communication is always best.

An easy technique for holding others' attention is to express a specific number of items to follow and a succinct summary of each, to build on the concept of tell them what you're going to tell them-- because it lets them know exactly how long they have to pay attention. i.e. "There are 2 primary reasons our team should _____; the first is X, and the second is Y."  Elaborate through meaningful examples or illustrative stories when appropriate, but be sure to cover the important points clearly. 

Say More With Less
Direct communication is underused in our society.  Many people fear being rude, but it's important to realize succinct comments don't have to be robotic or terse.  Clear communication is a courtesy worth extending to everyone.

Leverage Your Expertise
Everyone is an expert on something, on some level.  Therefore, anyone can strive to comfortable, or even worthy of, addressing a particular topic with others. Even if you don't necessarily feel like an expert, build your case (to yourself if helpful) before you start speaking so that you communicate with a feeling of authority.  Comments that dilute a good point, express self doubt, or are thinking out loud such as "Well, let's think about this" "It's just my opinion" "What do you think?" "I'm not really sure, but..." may result in your audience wondering why they are listening to you, and your message will be lessened significantly.  Use words and non verbal communication to make clear that you are intelligent, credible, and a powerful, dynamic person. 

Prepare to deliver your message; practice when you can.  The more important it is to you that your message be received well, the more preparation can help get the job done.  Although it doesn't have to be time-consuming, there is no substitute; and as a bonus, preparation builds your confidence automatically.  As an example, even professional speakers prepare and practice when giving a speech.  For us Regular Joes, whether you are giving a speech on stage, asking your boss for a promotion, asking a prospect for business, or asking your sweetheart something important, the best way I've discovered to prepare for a successful presentation is to 1) Write everything out exactly, as though you might read from a script,  in your own words.  2) Read it out loud several times all the way through, and share it with a trusted advisor if you have one, and practice your timing if needed.  3) Only memorize the main points by making an outline, highlighting, or using note cards, etc.... 3) Dress appropriately for the occasion and in a manner that boosts your confidence, get to the location early, remind yourself that you have prepared well, then picture the audience responding the way you'd like them to. 4) Forget about your detailed script and focus on delivering your message so that the audience benefits.

ACTIONS:
1. Practice clear, concise messaging: craft 2 sentences that say as much as possible in as few words as possible. (Hint: Ernest Hemingway was a master.)
2.  Use the technique above for enumerating how many points you have, then quickly summarizing them.  Do you notice a difference in your audience's reactions?

More on Confidence

(Part II)
STEP OUT BOLDLY
I did it!
I said I would and I did.

Despite a minor injury, I set my mind to completing the triathlon and striving to beat my time from last year. I achieved my goal; I beat my time! I attribute this to the mental strength I've gained over the past year more than the physical endurance gained. It hasn't been a full week yet, and already I'm planning my improvements for next year's race, and have committed to a running event later this summer.

Frankly, I didn't feel great about my odds for achieving my goal, but I had committed to go through with it anyway and to make the best of it. (Yes, I did envision crossing the finish line with time to spare and feeling AWESOME, and I even took time to appreciate the beauty around me on the race route.) To reiterate from my last post: making a decision and sticking with it creates confidence. Even in the face of fear, doubt, uncertainty, confusion, etc...

THERE WILL ALWAYS BE OBSTACLES (EXCUSES)
"But," you say, "I can't do a triathlon." "That's completely different from something like taking risks in business!" Is it? If you're not pushing yourself out of your comfort zone, you don't need confidence. You don't need faith either. Nor a host of other states of mind that make life worth living. Setting even tiny goals and accomplishing them gives you confidence. You feel good, and you gain the winning attitude that can drive forward those bigger goals.

During almost every client meeting this week, I've been noticing the value of confidence. Confidence in making the right decision: to change the focus of one's organization, to hire an assistant to lay the foundation for long-term growth despite the strong siren call of the higher profit margin in the short-term, to taking that leap to start up a new business in an unprecedented market. Confidence to be persistent: to not worry about what other people will think, to hire the right person and not go with the first one who seems mostly competent, to stick to your guns in a negotiation when they are giving you (only) 75% of what you want, to keeping promises to yourself and your family. Doing what you said you'd do takes some confidence, but it breeds even more, especially in the face of what seems tough or unfamiliar. (Remember that fear is imagined; all of it!)

" I see only the objective; the obstacles must give way." ~Napoleon

LAUNCH!
Take the first step, then course-correct IF needed. Too much preparation means you never leave home.

Do you know people who talk about great ideas, yet they're a bit like a missile that never gets launched? As John C. Maxwell says, it's "aim, aim, aim, aim....aim........aim." You've got to "Fire!" if you're going to reap the rewards.

USE YOUR STRENGTHS
Everyone has the means to make things happen. Have confidence in yourself as a human being who has unique strengths, insights, resources and talents. (If you don't think you have enough, contact me right now. In just one session I'll teach you to see these things more clearly.) What would you say to a friend or colleague in the same situation? After "What do you want to do?" and "Have you thought about this?" Probably, "Just do it!"


Here's to your success,
Heather

(402) 690-4946
Heather@EnvisionSuccessConsulting.com

Confidence For Any Situation

It's the eve of a triathlon, and I'm not worried today... I should be. I'm not the type who excels at these things. In fact, people are probably surprised that I participate in fitness events. I'm healthy, but I'm no star athlete.

Last summer was my first tri, and I signed up again this year. At some point I told myself I was going to beat my time by 20% --but then life cruised on and I focused on other goals. I didn't fully commit through action until the past couple of months.

I was a little freaked out about it. I was training pretty hard and it was great (met some awesome milestones!) but then a week ago I started limping. My left foot was hurting a lot and I started to wonder if I could do the triathlon at all. I put my workouts on hold. I allowed myself a few daily thoughts of "This sucks!" "It's not fair!" "Waaaahhh." I went through my days in a minor depressive state...

Then I stood back and wondered if my anxiety about meeting my goal was somehow the root cause of my physical distress. As a business coach, I know darn well that the mind is far more powerful than any circumstances --and I resolved to change my tune.

I made a decision: I will do the race no matter what & if I have to limp across the finish line, then so be it. Then when I looked back at my written goals, I realized I had committed to completing it and to beating my time from last year. And I felt better about it (what? where did the 20% come from??).

The point of this blog? The reason I am taking the time to type it up before I load the car with my gear? Because I realized that ultimately what matters to me is simply keeping my promise to myself. And I want to share this with you-

I'm doing this event because it is in line with my vision of the person I am becoming. This gives me confidence for tomorrow. This feeling of moving one step closer to my goals, my future, my "ideal" self gives me confidence. I'm doing the right thing by acting in support of my decision...no matter how the race goes tomorrow. This habit of sticking to a decision in the face of fear and uncertainty also gave me confidence a few weeks ago just prior to a speaking engagement I didn't feel truly ready for. And it will give you confidence when you need it.

Are we ever totally physically ready for whatever comes our way? I don't think so. Not fully. You just can't address every contingency for every situation. Besides, who wants to live a "worst case scenario" lifestyle? No thanks.

However, we CAN be mentally ready...for anything. I believe one way to experience this is by acknowledging who we are now and who we want to be. Then by making choices that fit with that vision we step boldly in the direction of our dreams. That IS confidence.

Who do you want to be? By the way, I don't mean you should care about what other people think or emulate others' behavior or accomplishments. I mean that when you think about your future self, what traits do you want to have? Who do YOU want to be? Step boldy in the direction of these dreams and goals, and live confidently! Live Out Loud! Act As If!