Hit the "Up" Button

You know how it feels when motivation is flagging, and that task that you said you would complete suddenly seems too difficult and you want to take a break, or quit altogether?  Hit the "UP" button!

During one of my recent workout sessions, the video host said, "You can always hit the UP button" in reference to putting more effort into the task at hand.  Hmmm...I like it! Very motivating.  I have since adopted it a bit as a personal motto. (Thanks to Jillian Micheals)

Control Your Email in 5 Easy Steps

Does your Email cause you anxiety?  If so, you are not alone. In fact, the statistics are staggering!  You already know the pain, so let's talk solutions. To gain control of your Email, following are some easy suggestions and best-practices. These steps are also a countdown to ZERO messages in your inbox (at least for a moment in time):

3 Ways to Take Charge of Your Life Now!

This morning I was reminded that the small, seemingly insignificant choices we make throughout the day allow us to take charge of our life, or they allow us to tolerate less than we deserve. 

Last Week:

9 Ways to Stay Motivated

So you've set your goals or intentions.  Now what?  From experience, we all know "life gets in the way" and often weeks and months can go by without much progress toward achievements. To change results, there must be a process or system for execution. In other words, you have to

Managing Work-Related Stress

What is a typical work day like for a modern working professional? It’s often described as hectic, or frustrating, or rushed...but also as productive, sometimes as satisfying.  However, most people describe their work days in terms of all the elements they do NOT have control over.

Relaxed Control
What does this mean? You may think this is an oxymoron (like 'jumbo shrimp'), but I believe it is a much better way to describe the opposite of stressed than “not stressed.”  First, however, let's establish what stress is.

Stress is...a feeling that's created when we react to particular events. Or: physical, mental, or emotional strain or tension.

A client of mine "Kathy" is a project leader in a large company. She came to me originally because she felt so unhappy about her work shewanted to talk about career options. However in her case, another job was not the solution and we went to work on some of the very things I’ll share with you here. After a short time of working together, Kathy told me her husband commented about how much happier she was, and the more we talked she realized she didn’t have the Sunday blues any more. Her coworkers did not change, her boss did not change, her work did not change much at all, but she did start working on projects she liked more and using her talents better for herself and for the company. The main difference that caused Kathy’s stress level to dial way back was merely applying these mindsets and using these techniques. They are easy to apply immediately and if you choose, will make a significant difference for you too.

Stress Less?
What's the difference between managing stress and preventing stress?  In our work processes, we know all too well the differences between managing and preventing problems, and this is essentially the same approach.  Some factors can be addressed to prevent and reduce stress, so like anything else, it’s generally far better to be strategic than to just accept what comes your way.

**Think about your Top 3 Stressors, or your top 3 challenges that cause you stress. Another way to determine what stresses you out is to list out some tolerations, or things that you are putting up with from yourself, your work, your life, or other people. It may help to consider your various environments.

Take Responsibility for the Quality of Your Days
You can have a balanced, happy, productive life by applying some simple, proven concepts. As a business coach I often help my clients focus on ways to WORK BETTER so they can LIVE MORE LIFE. So how do you Work Better (get more done in less time) in order to Live More Life (do what you really want)?

You own your day, no one else can force you to feel a certain way or to do things that you don't want to do.  Yes, sometimes it feels like choosing the lesser of two bad options, but it is still a choice.  So how do we strive for a more quality experience in work or life, especially on those days when we feel, well, Maxed Out?

If you approach the day with a sense of rushed frustration, saying something like” Today is gonna be rough, I have so much to do, I have to call so-and-so, and I have this meeting, and my boss said she wants to talk later about that project, AH I’d really like to play hooky today but I really can’t. Ugh!” it is guaranteed to be a stressful day.  Versus taking an approach of “Today I have a lot going on and I want this to be a really great day! I may just close the deal with so-and-so, and I have an opportunity to speak up in that meeting, and this afternoon I’m going to suggest at least one way I can add more value to the project and I going to ask my boss to support me on this."

Decide What You Want
Believe it or not, knowing what you want ion life and working toward something specific that you want lessens your stress considerably.

One of the best ways to increase your feeling in control is to manage your activities better. See various other posts on Effectiveness & Time Management in this blog.  Another great way to be more relaxed and feel more in control is through Mind Games. This is not about playing mind games, but using the power of the mind to beat the stress game.  Decide what you want and focus on that.

Positive Expectation
When entering into any situation, project, sales meeting, conversation with your boss or that difficult coworker or client, begin with the end in mind. Once you’ve established a good understanding of your desired outcome, then you want to use your creative mind to turn that Desired Outcome into a Positive Expectation. Any person with an imagination is capable of this, it’s fun, and it produces awesome results. Ok, so a little more how-to:

Consider how you want to feel at the end of the conversation, or the end of your day.  Then use words that indicate it has already happened like you want, and is not merely wishful thinking.

**Think about your top three stress challenges right now, and the tolerations in your work and life. What do you want to change? Let’s take that one step further. What is your positive expectation, framed in the affirmative?  As an example: Maybe, "I stay late at work too often." becomes "I want to leave work on time."  WHY?  Then take it to the next level which is far more powerful, such as, saying at the end of a work day, “I feel satisfied with a job well done today and I look forward to cooking dinner with my family.”

Setting your Purpose, Mission, or Goal
Specifically, what are you working toward? Take a look in your calendar(s) and your bank statement(s) --this is where your time and money is going. Consider what you REALLY want in your life and work. What do you want to be known for? What do you want to change over the next few weeks, months, year?

How can you possibly get from A to B if you don’t know what B is? Do you just get in your car and start driving aimlessly? NO, before you get to the end of your street, you know your desired destination. Strangely, most people don’t know what they want. Like most people, I used to spend more time determining where to go for dinner, or making out my shopping list than determining what to accomplish over the next year.

Ponder your purpose, your big picture, i.e. "Why are you here?"  Determine the Mission you are on right now, maybe it's your career or a large project regarding your household or community.  What are your passions?  If you haven't done so already, write down a primary goal, something specific enough so that you know when you succeeded and can celebrate, and something personally meaningful for YOU. 

Hints: Saying you want more time or money isn't specific enough– what will you do when you have the time or money? **Write down 2 things you would do more of if you didn’t have to worry about time or money.  Also, it's not enough to say, I just want to be happy.  You are fully in control of that right now, regardless of your present situation.  Happiness is a state of mind that you deserve to feel daily and is not a goal or mission or purpose statement.  **Take 5 minutes and answer the following: What helps you create or sustain your own happiness and why?

Relaxed Control in Summary
When you catch yourself saying things like, “He makes me mad!” or “I felt sick about that.” Or “My heart skipped a beat.” Or “I never have enough time!,” acknowledge that it is your response to something or someone--and you made youself feel mad or sick or nervous; stressed.

When striving for a state of relaxed control, you realize fully that your responses are always within your control, even if they seem to be at super-speed in the subconscious, and these directly affect the level of stress you experience...and with practice they will be more and more as intentional responses rather then conditioned reactions.

Your Challenge
Will you commit to ONE of these for 21 days, and see what amazing things happen? Are you ready to experience that Relaxed Control?  Imagine how different life will be in less than a month! 

What is your new, positive expectation for yourself? What do you have to gain? What do you have to lose?

See also Are You Truly Effective? and Tackling Procrastination

Spontaneity: Week 9

"Be More Spontaneous." This is something I had been telling myself for years...
Read about Ben Franklin and the 13 traits.

I admit that I used to be kind of controlling and too "A-type" to enjoy ever really being spontaneous. I would try new things pretty easily and I actually like change, but when it comes to leaping right in on the spur-of-the-moment, I didn't used to be capable. I improved over the past few years, but it's still something I would like to get better at.

It may be surprising that a business coach would want to be more spontaneous. But here's the thing: I am so goal-oriented and always thinking of achieving more, that my tendency is never to do anything without analyzing it first. No doubt this has its place, and may even be considered a strength in some context, but we can't really live without some balance. I acknowledged this and allowed my inner wild-child to lead me into things I wouldn't have considered before.

I realized that spontaneity is still purposeful decision-making, but now it goes a lot faster and I've learned to rely on my gut. So maybe on some level, this is really about strengthening my intuition and embracing what comes as a result. Oh, and that includes releasing anxiety about the decision that was made, or worrying about whatever else I could be doing.

It was perfect timing for me this week because I was traveling. My cousin got married and several of us stayed with family instead of at a hotel. True to my old form, I was a little worried this might mean we were completely at their mercy (yes, I wanted to reconnect with family and spend good times with them, but hey, you know), so I rented a car for some flexibility. However, contrary to my usual approach of scheduling everything down to the hour with some contingency planning for good measure, I did NOT check out all the options before going on the trip.

I checked the weather forecast online, installed a GPS/navigation app on my phone, and decided to be fully spontaneous and roll with whatever happened. It was great! We had fun as a family and everything worked out well. We had some good adventures, as well as some nice time for catching up and relaxation. I couldn't have planned it any better. I learned to go with the flow and have a great time, and I am a richer person for the experience.