We can look at another person and discern some things about them immediately. In addition, we can look at our own overall picture and acknowledge that it is a mirror reflection of who we are; our state of well-being, physical health, financial health, strength of relationships, and success in business. These are outward reflections of our mindsets, philosophies, and specifically how we think of our self.
Why do the vast majority of people who win the lottery lose it all and find themselves in the same financial status as before their winnings? Why do roughly 99% of people who go on a diet to lose weight gain that weight back?
It's as if we have a default setting, and something may occur to change the setting, but usually we seem to return back to that setting eventually. We do. In a nutshell, it is
Envision Success Inc blog posts from Executive, Business, and Life Coaches on topics like Saying No, Focus, Effectiveness, Leadership, Changing Habits, Communication, Boundaries, Work Life Balance, and Perfectionism.
Showing posts with label self promotion. Show all posts
Showing posts with label self promotion. Show all posts
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Dealing With Difficult People
This is a topic that keeps coming up in professional circles over and over. Why such a hot topic? Is the world filled with horribly rude people, stepping on each others' toes? Well, while there are some horribly rude people out there, but the vast majority of "difficult" people are just like you -and me. People who get things done, people who are in a hurry, people who have trouble hearing or speaking are often seen as difficult. Regular people, me and you, can easily be seen as "difficult" in some situations. Which leads me to the first tip in Dealing With Difficult People:
Consider this about a difficult person:
They might just be having a bad day. See them as a regular person, and look to give them a temporary pass for their behavior. This works wonders for most encounters of the difficult kind.
But what if it's someone you know fairly well and they are a pain all the time? A temporary pass isn't going to cut it...
Realize this one key trait about chronically difficult people:
They are still human beings. Sure, they are rude and put a major cramp in people's days all over the place. How can they be so selfish? Can't they see that they are causing so much trouble? Maybe, but what if they don't realize it, or they have something going on in their life that is much bigger than a little rudeness? In this case, put yourself in their shoes and consider what the causes might be. Even if this doesn't change things, it may help you understand them better. Yes, you may need to use your imagination!Seek to understand. It is critical to realize that we are not all coming from the same frame of reference. What is tolerated or even revered behavior in some families or cultures could be considered in poor taste or downright unethical in others. When two people are not comparing apples to apples, they will likely never have full understanding. Realize too that people have different "wiring" in their brains; different ways of perceiving and dealing with the world around them, and of interacting with others. No approach is necessarily wrong, they are all just different. Attempt non-judging. If you don't respect them, it's very likely they don't respect you and see your behaviors as equally offensive (although you do not intend this outcome).
Pinpoint the specific areas of difficulty.
When dealing with a person, consider them as a whole person with only a few areas that need work instead of the reverse. a "halo effect" which assumes the worst about all things regarding them. Once you are able to separate the behaviors from the person, you are well on your way to better interactions with them.
Show them how it's done.
You know that saying about not worrying about your neighbors trash cans when your own lawn needs mowing? Focus on making your own improvements regardless of how masterful you may be. Strive for perfection if need be, becoming a better communicator and colleague/family member/friend. Not only does it benefit you, but you can show those "difficult" people how it's done. Remember that the energy you bring to every conversation is being broadcast out through your words, actions, and even your thoughts.
Prepare for interaction.
Take a few minutes before anticipated or scheduled meeting times to consider what you'd really like to see happen. Remind yourself they are a human being, and who knows maybe they are going through some personal tragedy that they don't talk about. Be the best example of a master communicator that you can be. Take the high road and assume positive intent, seek to understand their point of view , and even forgive their trespasses, acknowledging that no one is perfect.
Smile, knowing you are a better person for it.
Communicate With Confidence.
Monday, February 15, 2010
Communicate With Confidence
Confidence. A priceless trait of master communicators and successful people everywhere...
How much confidence makes for just the right amount? Most people are willing to acknowledge they would like more confidence, especially when communicating in business and relationships. What follows are some concepts and techniques to help you create and exhibit more confidence in your communication:
The Message
What's the point? In order to communicate with confidence, you must first know what outcome you would like from your communication. What response or reaction are you hoping for? Once you've identifed the point, determine the key parts of the message and the best format, whether spoken, written, or otherwise communicated.
The Audience
You must also identify some of the traits of your audience, whether one person or a packed auditorium. What matters to them? Understand that regardless of your audience, almost everyone feels some degree of attention deficit, overstimulation, and/or overwhelm in our modern time. Concise, clear communication is always best.
An easy technique for holding others' attention is to express a specific number of items to follow and a succinct summary of each, to build on the concept of tell them what you're going to tell them-- because it lets them know exactly how long they have to pay attention. i.e. "There are 2 primary reasons our team should _____; the first is X, and the second is Y." Elaborate through meaningful examples or illustrative stories when appropriate, but be sure to cover the important points clearly.
Say More With Less
Direct communication is underused in our society. Many people fear being rude, but it's important to realize succinct comments don't have to be robotic or terse. Clear communication is a courtesy worth extending to everyone.
Leverage Your Expertise
Everyone is an expert on something, on some level. Therefore, anyone can strive to comfortable, or even worthy of, addressing a particular topic with others. Even if you don't necessarily feel like an expert, build your case (to yourself if helpful) before you start speaking so that you communicate with a feeling of authority. Comments that dilute a good point, express self doubt, or are thinking out loud such as "Well, let's think about this" "It's just my opinion" "What do you think?" "I'm not really sure, but..." may result in your audience wondering why they are listening to you, and your message will be lessened significantly. Use words and non verbal communication to make clear that you are intelligent, credible, and a powerful, dynamic person.
Prepare to deliver your message; practice when you can. The more important it is to you that your message be received well, the more preparation can help get the job done. Although it doesn't have to be time-consuming, there is no substitute; and as a bonus, preparation builds your confidence automatically. As an example, even professional speakers prepare and practice when giving a speech. For us Regular Joes, whether you are giving a speech on stage, asking your boss for a promotion, asking a prospect for business, or asking your sweetheart something important, the best way I've discovered to prepare for a successful presentation is to 1) Write everything out exactly, as though you might read from a script, in your own words. 2) Read it out loud several times all the way through, and share it with a trusted advisor if you have one, and practice your timing if needed. 3) Only memorize the main points by making an outline, highlighting, or using note cards, etc.... 3) Dress appropriately for the occasion and in a manner that boosts your confidence, get to the location early, remind yourself that you have prepared well, then picture the audience responding the way you'd like them to. 4) Forget about your detailed script and focus on delivering your message so that the audience benefits.
ACTIONS:
1. Practice clear, concise messaging: craft 2 sentences that say as much as possible in as few words as possible. (Hint: Ernest Hemingway was a master.)
2. Use the technique above for enumerating how many points you have, then quickly summarizing them. Do you notice a difference in your audience's reactions?
How much confidence makes for just the right amount? Most people are willing to acknowledge they would like more confidence, especially when communicating in business and relationships. What follows are some concepts and techniques to help you create and exhibit more confidence in your communication:
The Message
What's the point? In order to communicate with confidence, you must first know what outcome you would like from your communication. What response or reaction are you hoping for? Once you've identifed the point, determine the key parts of the message and the best format, whether spoken, written, or otherwise communicated.
The Audience
You must also identify some of the traits of your audience, whether one person or a packed auditorium. What matters to them? Understand that regardless of your audience, almost everyone feels some degree of attention deficit, overstimulation, and/or overwhelm in our modern time. Concise, clear communication is always best.
An easy technique for holding others' attention is to express a specific number of items to follow and a succinct summary of each, to build on the concept of tell them what you're going to tell them-- because it lets them know exactly how long they have to pay attention. i.e. "There are 2 primary reasons our team should _____; the first is X, and the second is Y." Elaborate through meaningful examples or illustrative stories when appropriate, but be sure to cover the important points clearly.
Say More With Less
Direct communication is underused in our society. Many people fear being rude, but it's important to realize succinct comments don't have to be robotic or terse. Clear communication is a courtesy worth extending to everyone.
Leverage Your Expertise
Everyone is an expert on something, on some level. Therefore, anyone can strive to comfortable, or even worthy of, addressing a particular topic with others. Even if you don't necessarily feel like an expert, build your case (to yourself if helpful) before you start speaking so that you communicate with a feeling of authority. Comments that dilute a good point, express self doubt, or are thinking out loud such as "Well, let's think about this" "It's just my opinion" "What do you think?" "I'm not really sure, but..." may result in your audience wondering why they are listening to you, and your message will be lessened significantly. Use words and non verbal communication to make clear that you are intelligent, credible, and a powerful, dynamic person.
Prepare to deliver your message; practice when you can. The more important it is to you that your message be received well, the more preparation can help get the job done. Although it doesn't have to be time-consuming, there is no substitute; and as a bonus, preparation builds your confidence automatically. As an example, even professional speakers prepare and practice when giving a speech. For us Regular Joes, whether you are giving a speech on stage, asking your boss for a promotion, asking a prospect for business, or asking your sweetheart something important, the best way I've discovered to prepare for a successful presentation is to 1) Write everything out exactly, as though you might read from a script, in your own words. 2) Read it out loud several times all the way through, and share it with a trusted advisor if you have one, and practice your timing if needed. 3) Only memorize the main points by making an outline, highlighting, or using note cards, etc.... 3) Dress appropriately for the occasion and in a manner that boosts your confidence, get to the location early, remind yourself that you have prepared well, then picture the audience responding the way you'd like them to. 4) Forget about your detailed script and focus on delivering your message so that the audience benefits.
ACTIONS:
1. Practice clear, concise messaging: craft 2 sentences that say as much as possible in as few words as possible. (Hint: Ernest Hemingway was a master.)
2. Use the technique above for enumerating how many points you have, then quickly summarizing them. Do you notice a difference in your audience's reactions?
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Prospecting: Week 4
Read more about the 13 weeks here.
The value of prospecting is irrefutable. This is the main reason I selected it as part of my 13 weeks. Prospecting could include a lot of things, but for most people this week's focus would include finding more clients. For me, I noted desired focus areas of networking, leveraging connections, and asking for the business.
Not just Networking.
My intention was not just to do more networking because that is one of my best strength areas. I am naturally drawn to relationship building and feel this is easy for me. However, even as a business owner who knows better, I am not particularly good at capitalizing on those relationships. And frankly I am emotionally torn about this. I know darn well that when done well, it is absolutely the right thing to help more people by asking for the business. And yet, like so many people out there, including most of my clients, I don't feel all that comfortable wearing the "sales" hat. I love coaching! I am in business to coach people to succeed in business. So...well you can see the irony here. When in the right frame of mind I actually enjoy what can be called the sales process, but I tend to avoid it when I think of it as the sales process.
"Sales" really isn't a four-letter word!
We are all sales people in a sense. Perhaps if we think of it as gentle influence, expressing natural curiosity, and sincerely looking to be helpful by meeting needs, then we would never procrastinate or avoid sales activities.
Overall, I scored myself a 2 out of 5. Yes despite my disappointment in not really taking it to the next level, I did manage to hit all three focus areas. Unfortunately, I found myself organizing my business contacts list more than actually talking to people, but I did attend several networking events, and followed up with prospective clients. I also identified several opportunities for additional service offers with past and current clients. Now I just have to continue the follow-through!
The value of prospecting is irrefutable. This is the main reason I selected it as part of my 13 weeks. Prospecting could include a lot of things, but for most people this week's focus would include finding more clients. For me, I noted desired focus areas of networking, leveraging connections, and asking for the business.
Not just Networking.
My intention was not just to do more networking because that is one of my best strength areas. I am naturally drawn to relationship building and feel this is easy for me. However, even as a business owner who knows better, I am not particularly good at capitalizing on those relationships. And frankly I am emotionally torn about this. I know darn well that when done well, it is absolutely the right thing to help more people by asking for the business. And yet, like so many people out there, including most of my clients, I don't feel all that comfortable wearing the "sales" hat. I love coaching! I am in business to coach people to succeed in business. So...well you can see the irony here. When in the right frame of mind I actually enjoy what can be called the sales process, but I tend to avoid it when I think of it as the sales process.
"Sales" really isn't a four-letter word!
We are all sales people in a sense. Perhaps if we think of it as gentle influence, expressing natural curiosity, and sincerely looking to be helpful by meeting needs, then we would never procrastinate or avoid sales activities.
Overall, I scored myself a 2 out of 5. Yes despite my disappointment in not really taking it to the next level, I did manage to hit all three focus areas. Unfortunately, I found myself organizing my business contacts list more than actually talking to people, but I did attend several networking events, and followed up with prospective clients. I also identified several opportunities for additional service offers with past and current clients. Now I just have to continue the follow-through!
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Who Are You and What Do You Do?
Oh, the dreaded cocktail-laced networking event line, "Sooo, what do YOU doooo?"
If it's a couple martinis in during a networking-gone-wild event (don't act all surprised; you know exactly what I'm talking about), I'm likely to deliver a spirited diatribe on why a person should get a little more creative when asking about work. Frankly, I think I'd prefer "Who are you and what do you do?" At least it would make me chuckle! On the other hand, if it's a fairly serious event, I'm tempted to be polite and stick to the basics of elevator-speech-giving/self promotion.
But wait? How many people out there have this networking stuff mastered? Very few. BUT- it could happen just about anywhere, any time. You want to be prepared to take advantage of the opportunities for self promotion!
Networking Do's
1. Dress like you mean it. Are you a professional? Okay then. Manage your image appropriately for your industry and your brand (company and personal).
2. Have your business cards on you at all times. No exceptions. (Don't push them on people, but have them handy.)
3. Talk to people. Let's break it down:
How do you start a conversation with others during networking?
What if you are terrified to approach someone you don't know? Get over it. (OK, that's a bit mean...) Look for ways to connect. You already have several things in common with every person in the room: you are all there to meet people, you were invited to the same event, you are in the same city, you are a working professional, etc... Even if all you can muster is, "do you know where I can get a new nametag?" , "how did you hear about this event?" or similar, it's a start! Work up to "Hi, I'm ____ ," stick out your hand and be ready with something positive, tastefully humorous, or a question.
As a coach, I ask questions of others easily - partly because I have a lot of practice. My advice to novices? Try asking the questions you really want to ask or stating something interesting.
How do you talk about what you do?
First, you have to know what you do and how to state it concisely and clearly without being bland. If you haven't taken the time to nail this down, start it now. Let it sit and come back to it a couple times, then share with others and tweak it again. This is so worth doing that I cannot even remotely express the importance here. Currently, I personally like the format, "I am a _____; I specialize in ________."
For example:
"I am a business coach. I specialize in coaching women to succeed in business."
People always query for more. Then you can either share a well-crafted blurb about your product or service BENEFITS (not features!), or you can share your passion statement with full-on enthusiasm. That'll get their attention.
Keep the conversation going to make a real connection.
Ask them more questions about their passions, achievements, or current challenges in their work. IF you would like their information for any reason, ask for their business card. Let them ask for yours.
Once you made the choice to be at the event, enjoy every moment that you can. And at the end of the night, even if you didn't connect with some of the types of people you intended to, be optimistic about the connections to come from your newly expanded circle.
One last thing---and I almost hate to add this, but seriously: never judge a book by its cover.
Happy networking!
Sincerely,
Heather A. Legge
If it's a couple martinis in during a networking-gone-wild event (don't act all surprised; you know exactly what I'm talking about), I'm likely to deliver a spirited diatribe on why a person should get a little more creative when asking about work. Frankly, I think I'd prefer "Who are you and what do you do?" At least it would make me chuckle! On the other hand, if it's a fairly serious event, I'm tempted to be polite and stick to the basics of elevator-speech-giving/self promotion.
But wait? How many people out there have this networking stuff mastered? Very few. BUT- it could happen just about anywhere, any time. You want to be prepared to take advantage of the opportunities for self promotion!
Networking Do's
1. Dress like you mean it. Are you a professional? Okay then. Manage your image appropriately for your industry and your brand (company and personal).
2. Have your business cards on you at all times. No exceptions. (Don't push them on people, but have them handy.)
3. Talk to people. Let's break it down:
How do you start a conversation with others during networking?
What if you are terrified to approach someone you don't know? Get over it. (OK, that's a bit mean...) Look for ways to connect. You already have several things in common with every person in the room: you are all there to meet people, you were invited to the same event, you are in the same city, you are a working professional, etc... Even if all you can muster is, "do you know where I can get a new nametag?" , "how did you hear about this event?" or similar, it's a start! Work up to "Hi, I'm ____ ," stick out your hand and be ready with something positive, tastefully humorous, or a question.
As a coach, I ask questions of others easily - partly because I have a lot of practice. My advice to novices? Try asking the questions you really want to ask or stating something interesting.
- What are you curious about and how could you ask it in a way that shows that you care about the answer?
- What could you sincerely compliment that person on?
- Ask about family, recreation, or goals.
When you get them talking they will almost automatically come around to their work. Then you can ask clarifying questions. It's easy. The key is to really care about the person and their answers. (In case they drone on and on, and you need to keep mingling, have a polite way to break away.)
How do you talk about what you do?
First, you have to know what you do and how to state it concisely and clearly without being bland. If you haven't taken the time to nail this down, start it now. Let it sit and come back to it a couple times, then share with others and tweak it again. This is so worth doing that I cannot even remotely express the importance here. Currently, I personally like the format, "I am a _____; I specialize in ________."
For example:
"I am a business coach. I specialize in coaching women to succeed in business."
People always query for more. Then you can either share a well-crafted blurb about your product or service BENEFITS (not features!), or you can share your passion statement with full-on enthusiasm. That'll get their attention.
Keep the conversation going to make a real connection.
Ask them more questions about their passions, achievements, or current challenges in their work. IF you would like their information for any reason, ask for their business card. Let them ask for yours.
Once you made the choice to be at the event, enjoy every moment that you can. And at the end of the night, even if you didn't connect with some of the types of people you intended to, be optimistic about the connections to come from your newly expanded circle.
One last thing---and I almost hate to add this, but seriously: never judge a book by its cover.
Happy networking!
Sincerely,
Heather A. Legge
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