Usually we equate "success" with avoiding mistakes. However, the path to greater success is simple: more mistakes. What? Yes, it seems ironic.
Yet we all have experiences proving this to be true. Consider the times in your life you are most proud of. I'll bet you they were achievement-oriented where you had to overcome some obstacles. You made some mistakes, but you pushed on. You didn't let fear keep you from moving forward. And success tasted sweet.
What Are You Afraid Of?
There is a state of being that I call "burning fuel on the launch pad."
My clients often come to me in this state. They want to blast off and take [it] to the next level, but fear of failure, fear of making mistakes, and sometimes fear of success holds them back. Or-maybe they are not exactly afraid, but more doubtful of their own efforts. Regardless, people often lack the courage or confidence to overcome these obstacles. What's a key difference between successful and unsuccessful people? Successful people "feel the fear and do it anyway." They find ways to build their courage, confidence, and faith. They gain perspective and realize that all people, everywhere, make mistakes.
What sets successful, happy people apart is 1) not avoiding mistakes and 2) controlling their responses to mistakes they make. This is where the term fail-forward comes into play. Everything you may consider a mistake may be merely a learning step designed to get you where you are meant to be. Thomas Edison, considered the greatest inventor of all time by many, did not consider mistakes or failure when inventing the components of the light bulb and referenced learning a lot of ways how not to make a light bulb. He didn't give up; he got it done. He wasn't burning fuel on the launch pad; he launched! And then he course-corrected along the way...
What is a Mistake?
What if finding many ways of not doing something IS the best way to get it done? Why would one assume that regardless of what they are trying to accomplish, there is only one way to get it right? How can that be true, and even if it is, is it possible that the first way is not necessarily the best way? Think of a small child learning to roll over, sit-up, crawl, walk, jump, and run. We don't yell at them for not getting it right the first time, and we don't judge them for all the "mistakes" they are making. We encourage them incessantly and say "Good Job" and "ooh, almost got it" and "try it again!" Yet when we've matured a bit then we suddenly expect never to be in a learning mode ever again...it's ridiculous.
Consider a current goal or project and think about how much you have learned already. Reflect for a few moments on what may happen that could be considered mistakes or learning opportunities. For each one, ask yourself "what's the worst that could happen" and "what's the best that could happen?" OK, now you've essentially done some contingency planning. Are you still willing to move forward with it? When you make the decision to move forward, keep going --and learn as you go.
Perfection Pressures Cause Problems
Sometimes the fear of not getting things "perfect" inhibits action. There is a huge difference between failure and perfection! Picture a target: if the inner circle pinpoint is "perfection" and missing the target altogether is "failure" that means there is a LOT of space that can equal varying degrees of "success." When striving for success, let go of your need to be perfect; otherwise the pressure actually negatively impacts your performance.
Picture what you'd like to happen, and how good it feels to be successful and to be getting better at it the more you try. When initially setting goals you may even consider assigning values for Good, Better, and Best results, similar to the rings in a target.
A Pressure-Impacts-Performance Story: Teri had been working in Sales for about 3 years, striving to meet the goals her managers kept pushing. She was typically in the top group for sales in the department, but she was becoming increasingly disengaged due to pressure to hit numbers and especially when her manager started requiring asking customers to purchase a specific product during every transaction. She struggled with this policy because she didn't feel it was right, and her sales dropped. Her manager pushed her even harder, which upset her, and started looking for a new job elsewhere. She received offers and was feeling really great over the next few months while she waited for the perfect job offer. During this time, she had stopped caring quite so much about meeting goals perfectly, and was having more fun with her work, not getting hung up with anxiety. Voila!, her sales went up dramatically and she won the sales award every month until she got another job. The lesson she learned was that when she relaxed and quit trying to be perfect, her results were even better than she expected.
Small Successes Breed Larger Successes
Another great reason to keep going through minor mishaps is that things build over time. Every time you learn a new way not to do something, you gain knowledge, skills, and sometimes tools that allow you to get better and better at it. When trying something new, you may move from Inexperienced to Novice to Average to Skilled to Expert. Even if you intended to move from Inexperienced to Expert without going through all those confidence-building experiences, you would soon realize that those experiences are precisely what makes an expert. Not only do you learn to use various resources to solve problems and overcome hurdles, you prove to yourself that you can do those types of things.
In addition, every time you have any success it gives a jolt of energy and validates that you are on the right path, and builds your confidence to step our of your comfort zone again. Realize that you have to put yourself out there in order to have successful experiences. In other words, you don't win the prizes without playing the game.
The greatest successes are achieved by those who make the greatest mistakes, so get out there and try it. Decide what it is that you're going after and do it. Once you've launched, you can always course-correct!