38 Special

By Julie Strzyz

October 21^st marked my 38^th birthday.  I’ve always been a huge fan of celebrating birthdays – especially my own – but this birthday hit me a bit differently.  You see, my father passed away at the age of 38 (when I was only 9 years old).  He was a bright, talented guy with many gifts. Unfortunately, he didn’t share those gifts due to fear: fear of failure, fear of imperfection, fear of what others would think, etc.  He let fear cripple him and it ended his life early, leaving behind a young wife and daughter.

As a child, 38 seemed forever and a day away.  But we all know what time does: it flies! So here 38 is…screaming and staring at me in the face. And I am scared. Scared that I will let fear win by not doing all the things I want to do and somehow have the same fate as my dad.

But if I have learned anything about myself and the recent changes and successes in my life, it is that they have mostly come from a place of fear.  I quit a career (without a plan B), I started a completely new career (also without a plan B), supported my husband who lost his dad and a job he loved within the same year (and now has a budding career of his own), and I increased the time and talents I commit to various non-profit, business and service organizations (not always easy for an introvert).  There have been others but those are just a few of the big ones. 

Fear manifests in many ways but for me, it mostly appears in the form of stomach knots, sleepless nights, and a little voice that says “Don’t do it!”  Those knots, sleeplessness, and voices are there for protection; to keep me away from the unknown and “safe” in my comfort zone.  It’s easy to succumb to the fear and stay in that comfort zone.  But the only result of that is that you stop challenging and motivating yourself – to do more, be more, have more.  I admit it, I have sunk into a bit of a comfort zone lately.  And I’m realizing that comfort zones get you absolutely nowhere. 

Because it scares me, I instead choose to face fears and look at 38 as my special number. My goal is to embrace 38 and make it my best year ever, fear be damned.  Every time I feel those stomach knots, lose that sleep, and hear that little voice, I will say “Go away, there is no room for you here” and instead choose to take that path of fear and press on.

Julie Strzyz
Personal Growth and Leadership Coach

www.EnvisionSuccessInc.com