Moderation: Week 2

Post 3 on developing 13 traits (link to more)

Wow, Week 2 came and went pretty quickly! At this point, I am a believer in this "program." I found myself whining just a bit about the extra time committed to making this all work, but frankly it is more than worth it.

I chose "Moderation" because I wanted to increase awareness of my consumption...yes food and drink, but also time spent on certain things, and applying a bit of the 80/20 rule, questioning whether I really needed to do or have certain things.

I realized a couple days in that I mis-named this one since this was meant to be about responsible living more than say, controlling myself at dinner. Therefore I believe I will rename it and clarify what that means for my next round of the 13 traits.

So was it a waste of time? Or a do-over? No.

I exercised my 6 days, I made better choices at mealtimes, I took my recyclable products home with me (and recycled them), and I committed to doing a few other related things and kept the promises made to myself.

Although it wasn't very different from a normal week for me, I definitely had more awareness and therefore considered the consequences of my actions a bit more. While admittedly in very minor ways, I am a better person for having focused on "moderation" this past week.

Any surprises? Kind of. I went a little crazy the day after the week ended, eating and drinking more, rebelling on getting a few things done, and skipping a planned workout. What the heck? Well- this just proves that focusing on it for a period of time DID have an impact.

Note: I have now "normalized" and am excited about my focus for the current week (read the next blog post to find out what it is).

Presentation: Week 1

2 of 14 posts on developing 13 traits

It's the last evening of the first week of my 13-week "traits" challenge.

7 days polishing up my presentation skills, and I feel like I just barely got the cart rolling. Yet it's time to move on to the next trait. I am updating my tracker in our MasterMind wiki tonight (ask me about this) and although I scored myself well all 7 days making effort to improve upon this trait, I feel a little disconcerted over moving on so quickly (my brow is actually wrinkled up in resistance).

Hold on. What was Ben thinking? One week to tune up my presentation skills?! I don't exactly suck, but I need more than a week (peripheral free time, mind you) to feel like I was able to take it to the next level...

Ah, but let's review my progress.

I crafted a goal card. Priceless!

I reviewed Toastmasters guidelines --which by the way reaffirmed how great that organization is for people desiring to improve speaking/presenting skills. Check it out! This was a useful exercise for sure.

I actually prepared ahead of time for a new 1/2 day workshop I have coming up soon. Very valuable! (I am sure I will feel less anxiety as the countdown continues.)

I also read several chapters from books I've had on the shelf for quite awhile that I had been meaning to get to. OK, I concede some definite value there, not just because I rifled through the books and have a better understanding of my existing resources, but also because the content was helpful.

I listened to some audio files on sales presentation skills. OK, yes I gained some perspective while also validating what I am doing is still the best approach for me (while doing household chores too!), so this was a good use of my time.

Hmmm...then again, I guess that Benjamin Franklin guy had some things right after all.
Week 2, here I come!

Who Are You and What Do You Do?

Oh, the dreaded cocktail-laced networking event line, "Sooo, what do YOU doooo?"

If it's a couple martinis in during a networking-gone-wild event (don't act all surprised; you know exactly what I'm talking about), I'm likely to deliver a spirited diatribe on why a person should get a little more creative when asking about work. Frankly, I think I'd prefer "Who are you and what do you do?" At least it would make me chuckle! On the other hand, if it's a fairly serious event, I'm tempted to be polite and stick to the basics of elevator-speech-giving/self promotion.

But wait? How many people out there have this networking stuff mastered? Very few. BUT- it could happen just about anywhere, any time. You want to be prepared to take advantage of the opportunities for self promotion!

Networking Do's
1. Dress like you mean it. Are you a professional? Okay then. Manage your image appropriately for your industry and your brand (company and personal).

2. Have your business cards on you at all times. No exceptions. (Don't push them on people, but have them handy.)

3. Talk to people. Let's break it down:

How do you start a conversation with others during networking?
What if you are terrified to approach someone you don't know? Get over it. (OK, that's a bit mean...) Look for ways to connect. You already have several things in common with every person in the room: you are all there to meet people, you were invited to the same event, you are in the same city, you are a working professional, etc... Even if all you can muster is, "do you know where I can get a new nametag?" , "how did you hear about this event?" or similar, it's a start! Work up to "Hi, I'm ____ ," stick out your hand and be ready with something positive, tastefully humorous, or a question.

As a coach, I ask questions of others easily - partly because I have a lot of practice. My advice to novices? Try asking the questions you really want to ask or stating something interesting.

• What are you curious about and how could you ask it in a way that shows that you care about the answer?
• What could you sincerely compliment that person on?
• Ask about family, recreation, or goals.

When you get them talking they will almost automatically come around to their work. Then you can ask clarifying questions. It's easy. The key is to really care about the person and their answers. (In case they drone on and on, and you need to keep mingling, have a polite way to break away.)

How do you talk about what you do?
First, you have to know what you do and how to state it concisely and clearly without being bland. If you haven't taken the time to nail this down, start it now. Let it sit and come back to it a couple times, then share with others and tweak it again. This is so worth doing that I cannot even remotely express the importance here. Currently, I personally like the format, "I am a _____; I specialize in ________."

For example:
"I am a business coach. I specialize in coaching women to succeed in business."

People always query for more. Then you can either share a well-crafted blurb about your product or service BENEFITS (not features!), or you can share your passion statement with full-on enthusiasm. That'll get their attention.

Keep the conversation going to make a real connection.
Ask them more questions about their passions, achievements, or current challenges in their work. IF you would like their information for any reason, ask for their business card. Let them ask for yours.

Once you made the choice to be at the event, enjoy every moment that you can. And at the end of the night, even if you didn't connect with some of the types of people you intended to, be optimistic about the connections to come from your newly expanded circle.

One last thing---and I almost hate to add this, but seriously: never judge a book by its cover.
Happy networking!

Sincerely,
Heather A. Legge

13 Should Be a Lucky Number!

Have you heard of this system that Benjamin Franklin used for self development?
13 weeks of self-improvement...
13 areas of his own choosing - those traits which likely contributed a great deal to his success and the many benefits we enjoy because of it...

I was not familiar with this before a member of one of my MasterMind groups suggested we read a book by Frank Bettger, "How I Raised Myself From Failure to Success in Selling."
Bettger revised Franklin's list, modernizing it a bit and tailoring it to his own circumstances and definition of success.

Our group of professionals is now embarking on our own 13 week focus to strengthen those traits that we (individually) feel are the keys to our success.

By the way, the concept includes repeating the process each quarter so that after a year's time you will have spent 4 weeks on each area and experience significant gains - ultimately to be living more successfully.

Here are my 13 (each with a definition/focus relevant to my personal development):

1. Presentation
2. Moderation
3. Business/Continuing Education
4. Prospecting
5. Intention
6. Communication
7. Relationships
8. Organizing
9. Spontaneity
10. Peacefulness
11. Effectiveness
12. Generosity
13. Strategy

I am excited for the progress each of us will make, and the difference we will make because of it!

To your success,
Heather