3 Parts to Making Change EASY

Yes, you read that correctly: "Change" and "Easy" can absolutely go together. Most people would agree that change is hard, changing habits is difficult, changing your conditioning takes focus and discipline plus time you don't want to spend on it.  Admittedly, that is true for most people.  However, you

9 Ways to Stay Motivated

So you've set your goals or intentions.  Now what?  From experience, we all know "life gets in the way" and often weeks and months can go by without much progress toward achievements. To change results, there must be a process or system for execution. In other words, you have to

5 Simple Steps to Achieving Your Goals

Watch the video summary now.

As I prepared for the coming year, helping my clients prepare their goals and objectives, and working on my own, I realized there is a plethora of resources available to us geared toward goal setting but there was a need for more information about goal ACHIEVING.  I set out to create something - some easy worksheets and a few steps - so that anyone could take this document and be a goal achiever.  Whether you 'do'

Greater Success Through More Mistakes

Usually we equate "success" with avoiding mistakes.  However, the path to greater success is simple: more mistakes. What? Yes, it seems ironic.

Yet we all have experiences proving this to be true. Consider the times in your life you are most proud of.  I'll bet you they were achievement-oriented where you had to overcome some obstacles.  You made some mistakes, but you pushed on. You didn't let fear keep you from moving forward.  And success tasted sweet. 

What Are You Afraid Of?
There is a state of being that I call "burning fuel on the launch pad."

Selling With Confidence

Feel like you want or need more Sales Moxie or Mojo? Do you berate yourself for not asking for the sale, speaking with confidence, or generally being uncomfortable or even afraid in sales situations?  There are some easy ways to feel more comfortable and confident when selling.

After all, "sell" is a 4-letter word.
But "sell" is not a bad word! Successful sellers are helpful, influential, and skilled at finding a match with customer needs --rather than manipulative-- so you can quit worrying about changing your personality!  You probably just need to rev up your confidence.  Yes, there is definitely the idea of too much confidence in sales which can come across as aggressive, "sales-y" or pushy, and this approach is the cause of most buyer's remorse, returns, and canceled contracts.  Yet the other side of the spectrum is probably worse because although it makes friends and establishes comfort with prospects and buyers, it is simply not as effective (as the overly confident sales approach) in terms of actual sales.  Let's face it, provided you believe in your product or service, you can't truly help people if you don't offer them ownership.

Why do people buy from sharks?
Bottom line: they respect sales confidence.  Think about how your own buying experiences validate this. As buyers, we want

Cultivating a Daily Success Mindset

What one skill do all successful people, all around the world, and all throughout time, have in common?

Whether they realize it or not, they all are masters at visualizing their success.  They routinely envision successful outcomes--and most often expect nothing else. Their words likely match their thoughts, but they may have also mastered the art of not telling everyone how confident they are.  If you could tap into the minds of the top tier of successful people, you would find

Take Control Over Your To-Do List

Are you one of the millions with a To-Do list? How about one with WAY more items on the list than humanly possible to get done in a day, or even a month?  If so, are you ready for a better way?  You've suspected there is a better way...you've probably known for a long time.  I've identified some proven techniques that will help you take back control of "the lists" -- so that about a week from now you won't miss your old "system" and you'll be amazed at how much smoother things are going.

Let's talk To-Do list "How-To's." Seems a little ridiculous?  Yet - if it's going to help you feel better and get more done, it's worth reading on, right? 


Mind Dump
The first thing I recommend is to set a timer, have plenty of paper/pens (or a computer app with unlimited typing space), and

Business Planning

BUSINESS PLANNING: A Coach's Perspective on the Process

When it comes to business planning, I see a spectrum where on one side are people who love thinking about possibilities, strategizing and analyzing options, often spending hours, days, weeks dreaming about what's to come, planning -- and not implementing. On the other side are people who hate the boring, time-consuming and sometimes paper-work laden process of planning in business and so they procrastinate it indefinitely or participate half-heartedly only when mandatory.

There is a zone in the middle where business people explore possibilities, create a plan, implement the plan, achieve goals, and reap the rewards. How can you participate fully in business planning so you experience these valuable gains without wasting time? It's actually pretty simple.


GREAT EXPECTATIONS

From my perspective, the most important facets of business planning are

What You See Is What You Are

We can look at another person and discern some things about them immediately.  In addition, we can look at our own overall picture and acknowledge that it is a mirror reflection of who we are; our state of well-being, physical health, financial health, strength of relationships, and success in business.  These are outward reflections of our mindsets, philosophies, and specifically how we think of our self.

Why do the vast majority of people who win the lottery lose it all and find themselves in the same financial status as before their winnings?  Why do roughly 99% of people who go on a diet to lose weight gain that weight back?

It's as if we have a default setting, and something may occur to change the setting, but usually we seem to return back to that setting eventually.  We do. In a nutshell, it is

Getting Started: From Intention to Reality

So you want to make a change.  The "pain" of your current situation has caused you to want something different.  You may exclaim, "That's IT!  Something needs to change with this.  I am going to______."

Congratulations, you just initiated a new goal! Even if it's not new.  What counts is that you feel motivated and intend to do something to change your current situation.  Yep, it's that simple.  You said you wanted to change, but do you really think of it as a goal?  Probably not- until you've written it down, talked about it with a few people, maybe posted it on Facebook, or acknowledged it as something you want -it doesn't feel like a "goal."  However, realize that you told yourself and anyone in earshot that you have an INTENTION.  You can choose to make it a goal (or not).  Why did you say it, if you didn't really want to make a change on some level?  So now what?

That spark of motivation, no matter how small, can be leveraged to pull you through the first couple of challenges...but to make it all the way you must ensure first that you set the right goal for YOU, for right NOW.

Do You Really Want It?
There are some key differences between goal setting and goal ACHIEVING.  The most critical difference is that Goal Achievers have set the right goal: not just any random intention becomes a goal worthy of focus and effort.  Do you really want it?  When you think about actually achieving your goal, it should scare you a little bit, and excite you a lot. If it's not the right intention-come-goal, then don't worry about it.  Think about what you DO want.

Communication: Going Beyond Verbal and Non-Verbal

Most everyone wants to improve their communication skills on some level, generally because we all understand that better communication can provide the key to better relationships, more success in business, more sales/revenue, happier customers, and engaged employees.  Most everyone understands that communication is not exactly as simple as 2 cans and some string.  Often, we experience challenges communicating with certain types of people.  Or, ahem, very specific people; a family member, coworker, former boss, former friend, ex significant other, etc...  It doesn't seem as simple as "Message Sent.  Message Received."  It's not.

Beyond the verbal simplicity of communicating with others, all the various non-verbal actions add layers of complexity to any face-to-face conversation. Yet there is more beyond this.  What about all the assumptions that both sides bring to the table, often before they have even met?

The Halo Effect
Have you ever witnessed a parent who looks right past all their child's dastardly behavior and swears up and down their child is the most angelic, perfect kid?  Often they are not just saying that; they really believe it.  This is the halo effect; when every word and deed of the child is seen as proof they are angelic.  The parent in this case, has their mind made up, and they can see only the good in their child's behavior.  You've seen this at work too with bosses and their favorites. When a person is tuned into certain behavior and expectations regarding another person, and over time enough things "prove" this to be true, at a certain point almost every single thing they do and say will strengthen the belief that they will always meet these expectations.

The Opposite of a Halo is...
The halo effect also works the other way: when you believe someone will behave badly or fail time and time again, they will seem to consistently you right.  Again, we can cite examples of parent/child and boss/employee.  You have likely worked with someone or remember a kid in school that everyone thought was weird.  Everything they said was weird, their clothes seemed weird, and no one wanted to pick them for Dodgeball or debate team.  However, I'd be willing to bet that if the popular kid in class said or did some of those exact same things, people would have reacted very differently.

What about when the tables are turned? 
Have you been the recipient of the halo effect, either good or bad?  Were you teacher's favorite?  Or always getting in trouble for stuff you didn't do?  One of my clients about a year ago came to me because she was miserable regarding her work and wanted to consider other career options. Somehow the halo effect had turned her work group against her.  NOTE: this person is very sweet, sincerly nice, courteous, intelligent, pretty quiet, kind of good looking, and quite stylish.  Unfortunately something started it, probably a very minor misunderstanding and well over some period of time, it seemed that this group could only see shortfalls in this person.  She was given a poor performance review, although none of the problems could be substantiated; unfortunately her manager had fallen prey to the halo effect too, in a bad way. She left that company and started doing something else and is much happier now, and has good relationships in her work and personal life.  Bottom line: the light cast by the halo effect is very powerful, especially when it becomes a belief held by multiple people in a group.  In this case, and in many others, the belief is not the reality...   We've all witnessed experienced something similar- in school, at work, in other groups, maybe even at church or community groups.

The Halo Effect on Relationships
To an extent it seems like human nature, and it is. We label, categorize, and stereotype.  Consider the influence that these inaccurate assumptions have on communication between people, your own communication, your relationships at work, in your life. 

Who have you -maybe- cast the halo effect on where what you see reflected is something other than reality?  On some level, just about everybody you know.  Think about it...how many people understand YOU, your thoughts, your silly private jokes, your humor, your worries, your quirks?  What if they were constantly misinterpreted because people already had their mind made up about you?  How many people knows you very, very well? 

This isn't about you feeling bad, it's about awareness and realizing what type of expectations you have of other people.  Consider your next planned conversation, maybe it's a meeting or social occasion, and the person you'll be talking with.  Have you been making some assumptions about them?  Are you expecting some behavior or thoughts of them that you can't really be sure about?  Try something different this time: right now, think about what potential they have and what could happen, what are they really capable of, if given a real chance.

Now you have some understanding of the power of the halo effect on communication, on relationships, on potentially every conversation and transaction in your daily life and work.  Really notice this week when you observe this happening, and consider the how the result might be different if the expectations were different. 

ACTION:
Think of one person each in your professional and personal arenas.  What if you start expecting the best, realistic outcome from these people? 

An Even More Powerful Effect
One final take-away:  Have you unknowingly been applying the halo effect to yourself?  Good or bad? What expectations do you have of yourself? Do you find that everything you do just proves your case?  It's not just about communication, but yes the halo effect definitively has power in your relationships, with others, and with yourself.  Acknowledge when based on assumption verus fact...true knowledge is power!

Partners in Business: from the Good, the Bad, & the Ugly –to Great!

How to profit from and enjoy each other’s personal and professional strengths in business.

Choosing a partner in business is just as important as choosing the right marriage partner, yet many people “fall into bed with” someone in business and "wake up" later wondering what happened. It starts innocently enough, as a fun idea over drinks after-hours, then suddenly it can take on a personality of its own and can overwhelm a friendship or other relationship with all the sticky details of running a business. The stress builds and soon the partners can hardly stand each other, from the varying ways they prioritize business activities, different approaches with clients or employees, and annoying personal habits they bring to the office.

We all know roughly the statistics on marriages that break up citing financial reasons…is it any wonder that most business partnerships end for similar reasons?  However, most often financial problems are symptom of relationship problems or partnership “personality” challenges.

Creating Great Partnerships for Great Business:
I. Choose the right partner; this critical step is often flubbed up. Take time for discussions about many aspects of the business, go through what-if scenarios, and expectations.

II. Create the partnership business plan and agreement together before the business really takes off.  Both of these are best when kept simple but usable.  Hire an attorney familiar with partnership contracts, and actually go through the process of discussing and agreeing. (I believe this step alone could prevent as much as 50% of future partnership dissolution.)

III. Check to see if you have the same dream, as far as what the business provides. Are you assuming early retirement and moving to the Caribbean, when your partner is planning to work in the office daily until they pry his cold, dead fingers from the desk? What about the vision for the business? Maybe one partner is expecting to expand into new markets, while the other feels it ruins the integrity of the business to grow beyond one location. It takes conversation and brainstorming strategically (and sometimes a facilitator or coach) to be on the same page. And agreement; what may seem like a grudging compromise can grow into a solution where both partners are truly happy.

IV. Establish policies, guidelines, or protocols for doing business and handling common activities.  What criteria do you use in decision-making? Do half your employees follow one partner’s guidelines, and half the other’s? Do your staff members feel they get caught in the crossfire? Consider how this affects the work environment, the clientele, the bottom line.

Many partnerships go through “the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly” phases and sadly most that get to this point break up. Some come to another end, hopefully with an arrangement that allows them to resume their former camaraderie without financial strain. Some partners buy the business, others agree to switch to silent/investor-only/limited partnerships and let the more business-talented partner act as business owner, and others form a custom arrangement that allows for win/win.

Then again, some partners (the few, the proud) work out their differences, get their purpose, mission, and goals aligned, and become Great Partnerships, running Great businesses. Yes, it is worth some consideration. After all, you were attracted to the idea of working together once upon a time…

ACTION: Answer the following questions separately, and then discuss together.
*What made the partnership such a great idea back then?
*What are the top 3 things your partner brings to the partnership?
*What do see as the top 3 things you bring to the partnership?
*How can you work together to create more positive business results?

SPECIAL OFFERS
Through the end of June 2010: SWOT Analysis for Business Owners. Up to three partners, same price as one owner. Only $350.


Also great for Partners: “Purpose, Mission, Goals” 3 month coaching program, only $1500.  Focus is on where all the time, money, and effort goes, and specifically what long- and short-term results are expected.  What results would you like to change first?

Managing Work-Related Stress

What is a typical work day like for a modern working professional? It’s often described as hectic, or frustrating, or rushed...but also as productive, sometimes as satisfying.  However, most people describe their work days in terms of all the elements they do NOT have control over.

Relaxed Control
What does this mean? You may think this is an oxymoron (like 'jumbo shrimp'), but I believe it is a much better way to describe the opposite of stressed than “not stressed.”  First, however, let's establish what stress is.

Stress is...a feeling that's created when we react to particular events. Or: physical, mental, or emotional strain or tension.

A client of mine "Kathy" is a project leader in a large company. She came to me originally because she felt so unhappy about her work shewanted to talk about career options. However in her case, another job was not the solution and we went to work on some of the very things I’ll share with you here. After a short time of working together, Kathy told me her husband commented about how much happier she was, and the more we talked she realized she didn’t have the Sunday blues any more. Her coworkers did not change, her boss did not change, her work did not change much at all, but she did start working on projects she liked more and using her talents better for herself and for the company. The main difference that caused Kathy’s stress level to dial way back was merely applying these mindsets and using these techniques. They are easy to apply immediately and if you choose, will make a significant difference for you too.

Stress Less?
What's the difference between managing stress and preventing stress?  In our work processes, we know all too well the differences between managing and preventing problems, and this is essentially the same approach.  Some factors can be addressed to prevent and reduce stress, so like anything else, it’s generally far better to be strategic than to just accept what comes your way.

**Think about your Top 3 Stressors, or your top 3 challenges that cause you stress. Another way to determine what stresses you out is to list out some tolerations, or things that you are putting up with from yourself, your work, your life, or other people. It may help to consider your various environments.

Take Responsibility for the Quality of Your Days
You can have a balanced, happy, productive life by applying some simple, proven concepts. As a business coach I often help my clients focus on ways to WORK BETTER so they can LIVE MORE LIFE. So how do you Work Better (get more done in less time) in order to Live More Life (do what you really want)?

You own your day, no one else can force you to feel a certain way or to do things that you don't want to do.  Yes, sometimes it feels like choosing the lesser of two bad options, but it is still a choice.  So how do we strive for a more quality experience in work or life, especially on those days when we feel, well, Maxed Out?

If you approach the day with a sense of rushed frustration, saying something like” Today is gonna be rough, I have so much to do, I have to call so-and-so, and I have this meeting, and my boss said she wants to talk later about that project, AH I’d really like to play hooky today but I really can’t. Ugh!” it is guaranteed to be a stressful day.  Versus taking an approach of “Today I have a lot going on and I want this to be a really great day! I may just close the deal with so-and-so, and I have an opportunity to speak up in that meeting, and this afternoon I’m going to suggest at least one way I can add more value to the project and I going to ask my boss to support me on this."

Decide What You Want
Believe it or not, knowing what you want ion life and working toward something specific that you want lessens your stress considerably.

One of the best ways to increase your feeling in control is to manage your activities better. See various other posts on Effectiveness & Time Management in this blog.  Another great way to be more relaxed and feel more in control is through Mind Games. This is not about playing mind games, but using the power of the mind to beat the stress game.  Decide what you want and focus on that.

Positive Expectation
When entering into any situation, project, sales meeting, conversation with your boss or that difficult coworker or client, begin with the end in mind. Once you’ve established a good understanding of your desired outcome, then you want to use your creative mind to turn that Desired Outcome into a Positive Expectation. Any person with an imagination is capable of this, it’s fun, and it produces awesome results. Ok, so a little more how-to:

Consider how you want to feel at the end of the conversation, or the end of your day.  Then use words that indicate it has already happened like you want, and is not merely wishful thinking.

**Think about your top three stress challenges right now, and the tolerations in your work and life. What do you want to change? Let’s take that one step further. What is your positive expectation, framed in the affirmative?  As an example: Maybe, "I stay late at work too often." becomes "I want to leave work on time."  WHY?  Then take it to the next level which is far more powerful, such as, saying at the end of a work day, “I feel satisfied with a job well done today and I look forward to cooking dinner with my family.”

Setting your Purpose, Mission, or Goal
Specifically, what are you working toward? Take a look in your calendar(s) and your bank statement(s) --this is where your time and money is going. Consider what you REALLY want in your life and work. What do you want to be known for? What do you want to change over the next few weeks, months, year?

How can you possibly get from A to B if you don’t know what B is? Do you just get in your car and start driving aimlessly? NO, before you get to the end of your street, you know your desired destination. Strangely, most people don’t know what they want. Like most people, I used to spend more time determining where to go for dinner, or making out my shopping list than determining what to accomplish over the next year.

Ponder your purpose, your big picture, i.e. "Why are you here?"  Determine the Mission you are on right now, maybe it's your career or a large project regarding your household or community.  What are your passions?  If you haven't done so already, write down a primary goal, something specific enough so that you know when you succeeded and can celebrate, and something personally meaningful for YOU. 

Hints: Saying you want more time or money isn't specific enough– what will you do when you have the time or money? **Write down 2 things you would do more of if you didn’t have to worry about time or money.  Also, it's not enough to say, I just want to be happy.  You are fully in control of that right now, regardless of your present situation.  Happiness is a state of mind that you deserve to feel daily and is not a goal or mission or purpose statement.  **Take 5 minutes and answer the following: What helps you create or sustain your own happiness and why?

Relaxed Control in Summary
When you catch yourself saying things like, “He makes me mad!” or “I felt sick about that.” Or “My heart skipped a beat.” Or “I never have enough time!,” acknowledge that it is your response to something or someone--and you made youself feel mad or sick or nervous; stressed.

When striving for a state of relaxed control, you realize fully that your responses are always within your control, even if they seem to be at super-speed in the subconscious, and these directly affect the level of stress you experience...and with practice they will be more and more as intentional responses rather then conditioned reactions.

Your Challenge
Will you commit to ONE of these for 21 days, and see what amazing things happen? Are you ready to experience that Relaxed Control?  Imagine how different life will be in less than a month! 

What is your new, positive expectation for yourself? What do you have to gain? What do you have to lose?

See also Are You Truly Effective? and Tackling Procrastination